Speed Racer (2008)

The only people who'll enjoy this Attention-Deficit-Disorder nightmare are those who've never seen an episode of the original anime in their lives. In other words, children.

Sure, there's some fun to be had for adults in seeing how all of the well-known characterisations from your own childhood have been lobotomised by their modern, live action counterparts.

Ultimately, though, you'll come to the conclusion that "Speed" was what the director(s) were on when they spliced together 120 minutes worth of 3-second zoom/pan/sensory-overload scenes.

Your eyes, and very probably your brain, will be dissolving by the end of this acid trip, so exhausting are the visuals. It's almost as if they wanted to go the complete opposite of the original series' sparsely-detailed animation by packing every single frame as full of colour & movement & distraction & pointlessness as they possibly could.

No, not almost... it's what they actually did! Adults should press their "A" button and leap over this drivel.