Tyrannosaurus Azteca (2007)

Now I remember learning all about Vasco da Gama and Christopher Columbus, but I don't recall hearing of this Cortés encounter with dinosaurs. Whilst exploring the new world, he and his crew land amongst the Aztecs and soon some of them fall foul of the local tribe armed with sticks and colourful clubs. These folks are determined to put a stop to the encroachments and so they are going to offer their new captives to their local deities - a pair of voracious T-Rex. Now aside from the fact that the dialogue is shockingly poor and the visual effects not much better, the question has to be asked. Who wanted this film? It's not in the least scary, it's way too long and the ridiculous love triangle element with Cortés (Ian Ziering), "Ayacoatl" (Dichen Lachman) and her betrothed shaman "Xocozin" (Kalani Queypo) is just childishly annoying. Is it supposed to be a comedy? The cannon ball bouncing off the beastie's hide did make me smile! It's college stuff that might just have merited a very early morning slot on the Horror channel. You will tire of it quickly, I reckon, and start rooting for T and his dinner.