Great White Waters (2025)

If only the ingenuity used to smuggle drugs could be put to more productive use! These guys have discovered a great wheeze to smuggle tons of cocaine into the USA by hiding it in jars of innocuous looking gunge. Unfortunately their boat sinks right in the middle of a shark feeding ground so their kingpin despatches a crack team of retrieval experts. Meantime, DEA agent “Gia” (Angela Cole) has recently been widowed and so is taking some time off diving near, well yes - you’ve guessed. Innocently enough, she approaches another boat crewed by “Charlotte” (Ashton Leigh) and her mean pal “Jareth” (Johnny Ramey) and is soon embroiled in helping them fetch their crates of precious cargo from the sea bed. She has some sort of gadget that deters the menacing sharks, but will that help keep them all alive? Will “Gia” want it too? Pretty swiftly we know all there is to know about these people, the identity of their kingpin on the land and so now we ought to be able to just settle back and hope that Mother Nature lets things take their course. Sadly, though, that might only have taken ten minutes and we have to fill ninety, so we now have to endure loads of banal dialogue and set-piece kick-boxing scenarios as the sharks play nowhere near a prominent enough role in this weakly structured and executed seagoing drama. The acting is fairly mediocre across the board and the ending is truly ridiculous. Without wishing to give anything away, but if a shark bit off your arm whilst you were paddling about on a dinghy, you’d be likely to be screaming your head off before dying of shock. I doubt you’d be sitting, draped in a swimming towel, having a chat! Yep, it’s that kind of film that, given there’s hardly anything of our underwater menace, I think is best avoided.